“Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” Luke 5:8
The first reaction to an encounter with holiness is often to feel we are not worthy. That feeling comes from the sense that we are being judged at the very moment of the miracle or act of grace being witnessed. We easily react with Peter’s words here, but with an emphasis on judgment: we want the person who embodies holiness to leave us alone, and so not feel judged or reminded of where we fall short of what we think God expects.
For those who earnestly pursue holiness, the sting of rejection can hurt terribly and lead to seeking the companionship of the world. Those who do not want holiness want the feeling of judgment to disappear and deceive themselves into believing they are good as long as they are able to bend the idea of good away from what makes them feel bad.
But let us consider that Peter was “a sinful man” before the miraculous catch and he would sin many times even in the presence of the Lord. We have no indication that Peter was a particularly wicked person, but the encounter here reminds him that his “goodness” is nothing next to holiness. Had Jesus complied, Peter could have gone on with his life, feeling the pangs of his sin now and then, but never changing. However, Christ knew (and knows for us) that for Peter to do God’s work, he would have to stick close to uncomfortable holiness.
In the Old Testament are many reminders that seeing the face of God meant death, because no one is worthy of the encounter. And here is Peter face to face with the Son of God. But Jesus does not tell Peter, “You are not a sinful man” or “Those sins are no big deal,” because that would be dishonest. Christ invites Peter (and us) on a journey with holiness using these words: “Do not be afraid.”
Holy and loving God, let us not run from or drive away your holiness, but help us to embrace the encounter, so that we may always be set apart for your use. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
